In Defense of Men’s Manicures

Men’s manicures are considered taboo by some closed minded guys. “The nail salon is for a real man,” some say. “The man takes refuge in his cave,” claim others. “The woman flees her kitchen for a few short hours in a nice comfy chair, hand outstretched, chatting with her girlfriends and getting primped,” say some misguided bros. Woah! How many people did we just offend?

The truth is, to say only women should get manicures is very similar to insisting the woman’s place is in the home. Gender is no reason not to groom. Tidy, cared-for nails should adorn every finger, male and female alike. We would also like to say MANicures have no magical, emasculating side effects. Ladies appreciate tidy nails on their men too so don’t run around fearing you’re gay. (This is 2016, gentlemen.) Still not converted? Let’s break down the benefits of the MANicure in more detail.

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Sex Appeal

You’ve got to take pride in how you look. That’s the reason you shave, press your jacket, straighten your tie. There are dozens of online tutorials analyzing how a woman’s eyes travel over your outfit, down your body, so you know exactly how to prepare. I hate to tell you, but these rules apply to the manicure as well. Believe it or not, on a sit-down date, the first thing she’ll look at is your face, then straight down at your hands. Grungy nails will make an immediate negative impression. She’ll fear you’re careless, or worse, an absolute slob. Take this grooming tip if you want to get to the second date. Manicure those nails, dude.

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It’s Refreshing

Would you turn down a mini-massage! Refusing a manicure will deprive you of some relaxing touches. Not girlfriend is jumping at the chance to rub your gross feet. Don’t pretend like you don’t enjoy it. Construction workers and policemen frequent salon halls, so why shouldn’t you? It’s especially vital if your a guitar or bass player. Your man cave is awesome, but so is lounging in a cushy armchair as someone pampers you. The manicure is surprisingly refreshing. Your hands will feel fresh and properly scrubbed for the week. It’s easier and more time efficient than doing it yourself, too.

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True Relaxation

A good manicure lures you in like a cheap beer and a burrito. Well, maybe not yet, but hear us out. Ease back and soak in the soothing atmosphere. There’s a notable difference between chilling with friends and taking time to relax alone – and it’s productive. The nail salon will have you feeling confident in your hand swag and it can also ease your mind. A healthy psychological escape, why not pay people to focus solely on your wellbeing for a bit? Talk if you want. Sleep if you want. Every guy needs some genuine freedom.

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Healthy Hands

You use your hands for everything. You work with them, you pick your nose with them, you touch your significant other with them. Manicures are less excessive than we make them out to be. You hands need some amount of attention. They need to be trimmed, rubbed, and exfoliated.The bottom tip of your nail, your cuticle, also needs attention. Cleaning these areas will prevent dry skin, chipped nails, in-grown nails, and infections. Men’s manicures aren’t prissy. It’s legitimately healthy and pretty damn great. If you know you’re not going to bother doing it, let a professional.

Thus, ends our defense of men’s manicures. It’s healthy, it’s hot, and it’s hygienic. As we become more aware of what maintains our health, we judge procedures like manicures on their merit rather than their reputation. Thanks to a California trend, nail salons exclusively for men have been popping up all over the country in recent years, some even serve booze. So stop picking your nose and don’t let groomed fingernails be a male taboo. If you own it, it’s not weird. Your hands, and your dates, will thank you.


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